Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Fearing the Freak Inside: It's Okay to be a Fetishist

This world is full of all sorts of devilishly sinful ideas, feelings, and people. Hell, you keep cmoing back to read my blog and I cover pretty much the whole spectrum here. I'm breaking all the rules by pouring my sex life out onto the internet (it's in the name of good journalism!). So if I put all that here for you to read, you can only imagine what might actually be going on inside my brain or panties at any given time.

But sometimes, I even catch myself off guard when I find something new that turns me on. As it happens, I usually stumbled across it in porn or some Literotica story so it is pretty easy to realize that I am not the only person who has ever thought this.


Being comfortable with sharing it is a different story. It is probably easier for me to get around because I am generally only attracted to other fetishists. Someone who can live by my general mantra:

Beat me, bite me, make me bleed, kinky sex is all I need.

It is really hard for me to imagine ever going back to a missionary only style relationship. Or ending up in a no-foreplay scenario all the time. Sometimes its a sort-of-have-to-fuck-now situation, we're all been there. But most of the time, I'm going to want to touch and bite and explore. I'm going to want my partner to do the same thing.

I usually like to test the waters with the simple things like BDSM. If they can't at least handle a little biting and some handcuffs, we're probably not going to work out. I know me. These days, my dominating side is kind of slithering out more and more and if he can't handle a forceful woman, there is plenty of time to turn back. 

But we all have to accept and understand that not every partner will be into every fetish. It isn't about that. It is about exploring and trying and really understanding that there are times someone has to be willing to remove the boundaries. Sometimes, that even means we have to sacrifice a little (but never who we are). But if I'm going to fuck someone, I'm going to bite them. Sorry, not sorry.


  1. With me, I've always have the wild and expansive imagination, especially within the realms of sexual fantasies.

    Even though I'm not wholly experienced in the realm of sex, I would agree that when pretty much getting down to -fucking-, one can push the envelope a bit. And even if the off-chance that they didn't really like it, at least you know for next time. As the old saying goes, "Different strokes for different folks."

    1. I for one am sending some serious mixed signals to [The Guy]. Our first time together he started to pull my hair and I yelled (passionately) at him not to do that. He had kind of known but forgotten it wasn't something I enjoyed.

      Our next time together I was like JUST PULL MY HAIR ALREADY and he was taken aback and double checked with me because he knew it wasn't what I wanted. But in that moment, it was a thing that had to happen.

      Its complicated.

  2. True, but eventually that will work itself out. If anything, it's a give and take sorta thing. You two will find said line in the sand. I'm sure of it.

  3. Particularly in society and in the committed relationship you are in, I can see the embarassing side pretty easily. I imagine it isn't something to come to terms with very easy but suffice it to say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are alone in that.

    Not every person is hyper sexed up and when sex isn't part of an equation that at least gives you a chance at making a different sort of bond. One that doesn't revolve around bodies. I'm so sorry this is one more thing on your plate. Things like sex should always be fun.

    Did you make it to telling your doctor? The few times you do have sex are you getting what you want out of it? Is it enjoyable? I apologize, I know those are extremely personal questions.

  4. I did, yes. I was referred to a sexual counsellor who I forgot to call.. should get on that. Yes, but it's very formulaic which I'm also a little self conscious about because I know it's not very exciting for the guys I have been with. And yes, it is enjoyable, unless it's one of those times when I think I'm in the mood, force myself, then just feel a bit wrong. It's very awkward. :(

  5. You start off saying penis in a whisper and then each person takes turns gradually getting louder and louder until someone is pretty much yelling it.

  6. I admire you tremendously for posting about such a personal subject. When you first learned that you had primal orgasms, was it with a partner or self-exploration? I'm just so fascinated by your orgasms and how intense they are. Are you able to explain more on how your body reacts with such an intense orgasm?

  7. I have never really understood why our society is so, well puritanical, for lack of a proper word for it. I think the whole slut thing is more just a general put down, even if we freely discussed sex, people would find some way to hurt someone else. Not saying that makes it right, but human nature is human nature, and once you convince someone to stop saying one hurtful thing, they usually go right onto the next.