The Darkness Intriguing

Disclaimer: This may or may not be graphic in nature.

I expect to take flack from what I'm about to tell you. I expect your reactions to be stereotypical. Don't worry, I'm braced. I'm a big girl with big girl panties. I've already had this conversation with someone who needed it so here I am, telling the rest of the world.

I'm a fetishist. Yeah, I'm a freak. Every inch of me burns with the desire to feel that this is most abhorrent to the majority of the world. My soul finds that level of fucking freedom in the weirdest places. My skin has bruised shades of red that make people cringe. You think you like rough sex? This takes me higher.

And the reach of the freak inside burns deep. Because inside this little head of mine, and inside the heads of a lot of women, lays this darkness. This darkness that is too taboo, it is so bad that I told you I wouldn't even talk about it. But that's changed.

But at the depths my fantasies, do you know what lays there? Nonconsent. Rape.

Don't you dare judge me.

In the prettiest places in our psyches, it is the thing that scares us that elicits the beauty that is arousal. In the way you don't realize your body wants it, that is where this lays. And a lot of women, fetishist or not, experience this same pull to the bad.

This intrigue inside my head gets swept up and churned with the craved feeling of hands at my throat, smacks across my face, and level of rough intensity.

Do you know why I am telling you this? If you're a woman and you feel this way, if your girlfriend feels this way, you're not alone. That darkness doesn't have to swallow or make you ashamed of it. Because at the core, nonconsent is bad. But that doesn't mean you have to had from the fact that the bad things in the world make your skin electric instead of crawl in the darkness of your own bedroom.

This isn't a call for consent violations. Keep your dick in your pants, boys.

This is a notice that there are safe ways to explore even the parts of your mind you don't want to admit are there. And the consensual nonconsent can take you places you didn't know existed.

Consent. It isn't a blurred line. It is there or it isn't.

Nonconsent.

Arousing.



Image notes: This is an image in relationship to Erotic Asphyxiation. No rape or consent violation was explored or intended in the photo.

Fetish Confessions: Big Brother

Today's confession is a little different than usual. Someone came to me to talk about something that had happened in their past. Something special albeit taboo; a secret that, until now, has been so very tightly held.

Today, Big Brother is talking about:

Incest

It had an interesting beginning. We were sitting in my bedroom and were talking about different things. We ended up on the subject of [significant others] and how neither one of us had one. I told her she was beautiful and that if I could, I would date her. She responded by telling me I was handsome and that she would date me as well.

Over the course of a few months we would come back to the bf/gf conversation and eventually we decided that we didn’t care if it was wrong, we were going to secretly be each’s other [significant other].

This went on for a while.

When our parents were gone or in other rooms, we would sneak kisses. Gentle pecks at first as if to test the waters. They would continue to grow increasingly passionate. Or as passionate as we could at that age.

On a day our parents were out, she asked me if I loved her. I said, “Of course.” But then she asked me again, “Do you really love me? As a boy loves a girl...not as a brother loves a sister.” And I told her yes. I loved her with my whole heart and being. When I asked her the same question, she said she loved me with her heart, body, and soul.

After that, she asked if I wanted to see her. I remember stuttering and saying that I was looking at her. That isn’t what she meant. She said, “No, do you want to see me?” and she pulled her shirt off and slipped out of her shorts. There my sister stood...in a bra and panties and I could barely contain myself.

She tugged at my arm and pulled me close. She started to pull at my shirt until it came off and then she pulled my pants down. I didn’t know what to do!

We went into my bedroom and laid in my bed. We were face to face, kissing. She put my hands on her breasts and pulled my boxers off. My hands were shaking so bad that all I do was pull her bra up but I couldn't get it unlatched. When she touched me, hard as I was, I nearly came right there.

I fumbled around with her breasts for a minute until she told me she wanted me to touch her. She was warm and wet. She told me just how to rub [her clit] and guides me on what to do. She continued to get wetter and wetter. All of a sudden, she squeals and starts to shudder. When she has finished, she asked me if I want to try to put myself inside to and I agree.

She laid down on the bed and I move on top of her and I try to put myself in but I can’t so she helps me find the right spot. I start to enter her and when I meet the resistance, I keep going and break her hymen. She puts her mouth to my shoulder with a yelp and tells me to keep going.

She told me what to do and how to do it. I had watched some porn by that time but I still needed her to tell me what to do, even though it was her first time, too.

I finally enter her and begin to fumble back and forth. I get about three strokes in and suddenly feel the feeling that I am going to release and before I can do anything, I cum and release everything that I have inside of her.

She was surprised that I came inside her. She wasn't angry just surprised and explained it couldn't happen again. After that, I found out that she had actually been masturbating to the idea about me making love to her for quite sometime. And that...was how it started...