Braving the Waters: Trying Something New

It's totally alright for me to admit that I am 27 years old and I am coming into my own sexuality and I really have just embraced that I have a vulgar disposition and love to talk about raunchy things and be perverse and breakdown the barriers of talking about sex!

And I couldn't be having more fun doing it. Because you guys have been so great in accepting my weird and personal stories. You've had so much support to offer each other and such wonderful compliments.

But let me tell you what still gets to me. The fact that people want to hear about the intimate details of my sex life. It is an erotic feeling to just hang my dirty laundry in the front yard for everyone to see. So I will share something extremely intimate. Provocative and terrifying at the same time.

I had to try something new. 

Are you let down? Was that not the awesome thing you were expecting? Let me assure you that trying something new with a new partner can be humiliating. It can go disastrously wrong and it takes a hell of a lot of ovaries (or balls if you're so penisishly inclined) to fucking go for it. Usually, it is always going to be worth it even if you don't like it. If you don't enjoy it, now you know.

Let me set the scenario for you. You've been scrolling some PornHub or YouPorn when you come across a whole new idea that you have never seen. Before you realize it you're watching the whole sub-genre and can't contain your loins. Then comes the "WTF? What is this I don't even..." moment. Then comes the realization that you're really into it.

I've been here. I've been in that exact same spot.

My fetish? Pegging.

Go ahead. Blush. I am. I'm laying this bare so you can see how we have all truly been there. But if you're thinking that I am going to tell you I have tried pegging...not quite. But baby steps.

I finally have found a partner in [The Guy] that has green-lighted anal play. I've been intrigued by this but when it came up, I turned weird shades of red and hid my face because it was hard to look at him in that moment. In a moment that wasn't for him but put me in a place where I was ready to crawl into a ball and felt like the virgin I kind of was. Did I mention I wanted to curl up into a ball?

Here I was being all sexy and shit and being enticed to try something new and was terrified. Terrified of hurting him, terrified of being terrible, but so turned on.

Do you want to know the key factor in the ultimate success of trying something new? Communication.

In the middle of everything, I stopped, took a breath and asked him if he was comfortable being my guinea pig. Yeah, I said guinea pig in bed. Big deal. I told him I was nervous and scared and totally new. His response was exactly what it should have been. Supportive and guiding and ultimately led to a great experience for the both of us.

When it is all said and done, I think we all have to tell ourselves "Hell yeah, just go for it" and do it. If you're thirsty for new experiences remember you can only go so long without something to drink.

For your further benefit, I found this video about milking the prostate. Here. Laugh.

Guest Post: Boobs McGee & Why I'm Sorry I Waited to Have Sex

Part of my reason for asking to guest post on this blog is that I am a feminist, and I believe in women’s empowerment in every area of life. I see conservatives’ push for so many abortion bills as an attempt to control women’s sexual behavior. If we are not empowered enough to talk about sex, how can we be empowered enough to have control over our sexual lives? How can we determine which are truths and which are lies if we do not discuss sex and sexual behavior? How can we fight for our sexual freedom if we do not discuss our bodies and our emotions about sex?

I was 25 years old when I lost my virginity. In the years since, I’ve come to regret my decision to wait. Here’s why:

 

1) The idea that women are somehow damaged after they have lost their virginity is ridiculous. My virginity and my ability to bear children are not the sum of my worth.  I am not dirty or sullied if I am not a virgin. I am not worth less or less able to bear children.

2) It will never be as magical as the books and movies make it out to be. Sex is awkward, sometimes funny, can be slightly messy, and at times, painful. It also takes practice to get the right parts in the right place and in most cases to be any good at it! It is the job of romance writers to make sex a fantasy. They wouldn’t stay in business if they didn’t dangle that carrot.

3) The older you are, the more of a big deal it becomes. It gets blown way out of proportion. If you are anything like me, you daydream about how it might be. In my experience, anticipation is often worse than the event itself. Waiting creates more anxiety, and can result in sexual hangups.

4) I wasted a lot of the time I could have been having great sex. Having ANY sex would have been better than none.

5) I was always told the lie that it would somehow diminish me if I were to share my body with someone else. I supposedly gave away a little piece of my soul every time I allowed someone else in my body. Pff! The only thing I share during sex is some bodily fluids and pleasure. My soul is intact, and it is mine. I regret none of my sexual partners.

*Caveat: This was the lie my church told me. It was the case across several different denominations. I have since then left the church and come to the conclusion that they are totally mistaken, especially in a sexual context.

6) Marriage does not automatically make you sexually compatible with your partner. Marriage does not automatically make sex good. I can’t even imagine what the sex would be like between two virgins. Would they even know how to get to a point where it would be good? I would guess that sexual issues is amongst the reasons that couples cite when getting a divorce.

 

I’m not advocating that you go out and lose your virginity as young as possible. I think having sex the first time is for women as bad as waiting! You shouldn’t be satisfied by teenage groping. You deserve someone thoughtful, slow, and experienced for your first time, not a randy, quick-at-the-trigger teenage boy.

Sincerely, 

Boobs McGee