Reader Response: Big Beautiful Women

I love talking to the you guys. You have some of the most thought provoking ideas and the conversations just blossom. They lead to questions and then you and I keep coming back to each other.

Today's question is from such a conversation that I had with a friend and reader:

I don't like the pluz-size girl fetish. If someone likes me, I don't want it do be because of my weight but because of me. What are your thoughts on being a BBW?

Well, I know that I am a big and beautiful woman and after 20-something years, I am okay with that. I am okay with my body and I am okay with its flaws. With that said, I'm also okay with the BBW fetish. At least we're out of the cushion for the pushin' phase of this fetish.

That doesn't mean that there isn't a right way and a wrong way to handle it.

WRONG: Hey, you're hott. I only fuck fat chicks, they turn me on.

RIGHT: Please, don't worry about your weight; I think you are absolutely stunning/beautiful/etc.

For the record, I have BnT fetishes. Big and Tall or Bearded and Tattooed, take your pick. 

I think that in the end, we all want to be able to say that the physical aspects of someone don't matter that it is what is on the inside that counts but it isn't always like that. Certain physical features of people turn us on or off and we have to accept that about ourselves and others.

And, come on. That picture is a BBW-half-naked-librarian. I couldn't resist.

Image credit: nlforum.net

My Body | My Temple

This is hands down the hardest thing to overcome because no one can do it but you. Anyone can tell you're beautiful (you are, by the way) but only you can believe it.

It is no big secret that I am a Big Beautiful Woman (BBW for you fetishists in the making). I'm 5'11 and somewhere on the spectrum towards the 300 lbs end (Holy Shit! I just put that out there!). I struggle with a lot of things when it comes to my appearance. I have had a terrible complexion all my life. I wear glasses. I have stick-straight, thin hair. And I am sure I could keep going on and on about the things I know are wrong with my body compared to society's view of beauty. And ya know what, it took a lot of time and a lot of bad days to look at my body and feel sexy.

But I did it.

I'm not going to pretend that it was easy. I'm not going to pretend that when I looked in the mirror while hugging [The Guy] naked, my appearance didn't catch me a little off guard. But those moments, are quick and fleeting before I really see me again and think something along the lines of "Oh yeah, I'm smokin' hott". I want you to be there, too. I want you to see how beautiful you are; I want this for everyone.

Let me share with you some things that I found helped me. I hope it does some good.

Look at your body!
Really look at it and do it often. Stand in front of a mirror and take it all in. It might be uncomfortable but don't cover yourself from your own eyes. You know what you are on the inside, see it and know the outside.

Sleep naked and touch your body!
You need to feel comfortable without your clothes, without that barrier between your body and someone's eyes. And when you touch your body, learn the way it feels. Know the way it feels under your hands. Know the places you want your partner to touch.

Be a selfie whore!
It is the only way I ever got used to all of me. Yes, there are going to be bad pictures but there are also going to be great ones. This helps you play with angles and lighting and really learn to capture a sexy you that you are willing to put out there for others to enjoy.

Wear a Shirt of Confidence!
Your hottest outfit should be your own skin!

You don't have to be a rockstar who puts her not-porn-but-sexy photos out there for the world to see, but I will tell you you deserve to do that if you want to. You deserve the right to feel that sexy. Because we all do.