Today I have the pleasure of talking to a fellow female. Someone who can appreciate the power behind a woman in charge. You win yourself a lot favor with me if you understand the reference behind her name, if you don't know, you'll find out. Joining me today is Mistress Lisa.
How long have these been a thing for you?
I've been interested in voyeurism since I was a teenager. I remember watching some scrambled Cinemax porn, and then later finding some movies in my parents' room (not home movies, ugh--just old porn tapes) and being very intrigued by the idea of watching other people have sex, or letting people watch me.
Sadly, I didn't get into the idea of BDSM and roleplaying until I was an adult and read (again, ugh) 50 Shades of Grey, which is an awful, horrible book and yet I could not explain why it turned me on. Intrigued, I began googling for other books that might explore the same themes and came across the most influential thing that I've ever encountered, sexually: Anne Rice's "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy. This was the catalyst for a lot of major life changes for me, one of which was realizing that I was turned on by some bizarre things, that that was okay, and that it was time for me to explore them.
For the record, if you like Sleeping Beauty, Anne Rice also wrote "Exit to Eden" and it was turned into a movie in the 90s. My first movie with sex and my first introduction to BDSM and whipping. It changed my life. I knew I wanted to be Mistress Lisa but I was also so intrigued by the arousal of being spanked, blindfolded, etc.
On the same idea, going from the idea of a cuckolding fetish, what do you think about FemDom and women being in the position of control?
It's interesting (at least to me)... I have always strongly identified as a submissive in role-play and BDSM encounters. I think it's because I'm such a control freak in real life that it feels completely foreign and intoxicating to be out of control during sex. However, recently I met someone that I liked very much, and after getting to know one another a little better, he let me know that he was interested in FemDom and/or cuckolding. So I've been playing around with it, and with him a little bit. Much of the time it's still terrifying to me, but it's also fun--like wearing something completely fabulous that you would never choose yourself, but that looks great on you. It's hard to explain. Overall, my philosophy on fetishes (and sexuality in general) is: if it feels good, and it doesn't hurt anyone (without their consent!), then go for it. I may not be into it, but I won't judge you--and I'll always try anything once (unless it involves kids, animals, or shit).
Of all the things you said there, you did not imply that watersports/golden showers were off limits... Is that going too far?
Watersports/golden showers... it's not exactly going too far, I think, but it does nothing for me. I would pee on someone if they asked me to, but I'm never going to initiate it and I draw a hard line at being peed on.
A "your fetish, not mine" kind of deal. Can you pinpoint what it is about your fetishes that makes them such a powerful turn on?
Not really, no. Like I said earlier, there's the idea of being out of control which is thrilling, but it's more than that. I'm a very sensual person, in the literal sense of the word. I tie emotions very strongly to encounters with my five senses, and there is just something about role-playing that helps me step off the hamster wheel in my own head and into my senses. As far as voyeurism goes... well, it's just fucking hot to watch people get each other off, right? And it's equally as hot to let them watch you.
You also said you're a voyeur. Do you like watching people in all sexual aspects including masturbation, oral, and intercourse? Don't you want to participate?
I love watching masturbation. I love it. At one time I was active in the Chaturbate community (a site where you broadcast yourself masturbating live on webcam, either for free or for pay) but haven't done that in a while.
I like watching everything basically. Of course I want to participate, but often I find it hotter to pretend I can't. Like it's a secret and/or they don't know I'm watching. It helps that I do a lot of voyeurism via webcam, so it's hard for me to participate (although I do play along at home :)).
As far as voyeurism goes, if sex weren't so taboo and people could separate private and professional lives, I would love to have sex and put my sex-capades on the internet as amateur porn but that is honestly a can of worms that I am not willing to open. Do you like to photo swap or video yourself with partners? I find it thrilling and love that people share that little piece of themselves with me.
I'm a HUGE fan of photo and video swapping and/or sexting. I do a ton of it with people I've met online. For the most part I am careful about not using or sending any photos with my face or identifying features, on the off chance they end up posted somewhere. I say "for the most part" because there are some people that I trust, who DO have photos of me that could be used to hurt me. I also have photos of them that I could use against them if needed.
Are your sexual interests something that you are open about or do you only share it with a select few?
No, very few of my friends know about my secret life :). If I hear someone talking about 50 Shades or BDSM, I'll occasionally bring it up tentatively, but back away quickly if I don't see a flash of recognition. I actually don't think any of my friends know about my sexual proclivities, now that I think about it. It is usually something that comes up early on when I meet a new guy or girl, in a romantic sense. I need to know that we're going to be on the same page sexually before I take things too far.
Being a fetishist, do you find that you are more or less attracted to other fetishists? Could you be with someone who didn’t really have a kinky side?
I definitely could not be with someone who wasn't at least open to my kinks. I don't want or need roleplay or public sex every time--there is a time and a place for vanilla sex too!--but without any variety, things get boring quickly. I was with someone for over a decade who wasn't sexually adventurous, and it was really tough.
I understand your struggle there. At the bare of it, I think we all have those skeletons in our closet.
What do you think of the quote: "A kink is a thrill, and a fetish is a must"?
As for that quote, to me that quote perfectly defines the clinical definition between kinks and fetishes (yeah, I do a lot of reading, I'm a nerd). A "kink" is something you enjoy doing, but a "fetish", in the clinical sense, is so all-consuming that you either can't get sexually aroused, or can't achieve orgasm, without it. By that definition, I have zero fetishes. I love sex in every way, shape, and form, and I can't imagine myself getting to a point where I HAVE to be spanked or watched or taken from behind in order to get off.
It is safe to say that every time I am spanked or taken from behind I am going to get off, though!
Is there one fetish that could potentially land you behind bars? You know, because oral and anal sex are both illegal in Louisiana.
I think my only fetish that could land me in the slammer is having sex in a public place (and I'm pretty lucky I haven't gotten caught). And of course, if we're going by puritan laws, oral and anal -- but that's not a fetish, that's just normal, right?
Normal...I don’t even know what that means, anymore.