Fetish Confessions: Teddy Bear Part I

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Further Down the Rabbit Hole

I have a lot of interesting fetishes. I love exploring who I am and what I enjoy. But I recently uncovered that if sexuality were a swimming pool, while I've done more than get my feet wet, I'm still toeing the shallow end of sex and fetishes and there is a lot more to go.

What I thought I knew:
I am a Dom/sub (D/s) Switch who wants bondage, biting, choking, and to explore pegging...while wearing boots.

What I realized was that I don't really know anything.

I also know now that things are about to get steamy around here.

First of all, I don't live the lifestyle. In a lot of D/s relationships, it is a complete lifestyle choice and they live it when they can inside and outside of the bedroom. I don't do that. I will be a strong and independent women outside in the real world while maybe I like to have someone spank me behind closed doors. Or maybe I want to bend a man over, and make him mine in every way. But that is still behind closed doors. That makes all the difference.

For everything else, it is overwhelming to fall into a world where things are very niche. And everything is made into acronyms. AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover), CD TV (Cross Dressing Transvestite, DDF (Disease & Drug Free), and those are only the ones that I have had to figure out for myself. Some of them are self-explanatory, some of them are things that I didn't know were things, some are just interesting.

But it is all beautiful. Completely overwhelming and beautiful. People being exactly who they want to be.

A lot of people that I have the pleasure of talking to have these fetishes but are embarrassed by them and have trouble talking about them. I'm here to help. I want to tell you I don't have judgments and I'm not critical. I'm a freak, too. 

I cannot wait to explore this and continue talking about fetishes with the people that have them.

Image Credit: Suzi9mm

The Internet is for Porn

At some point in the relatively recent past, I mentioned that I watched porn. I watch a fair amount of porn although the amount of erotic literature that I have read is astronomical in comparison. But we're talking the hot, the steamy, the staged...porn. 

There is no fucking shame in a woman watching and getting off to porn!

There. I said it. Now you can toss your opinions around about it all you want. The porn industry has always been a source of problems. People claiming that women are objectified or that it is immoral. Hey guess what, women humans are always going to be objectified. The industry today is full of gorgeous, willing participants that enjoy sex and enjoy the ability to escape into a role and perform.

I've even made some.

No you can't find it on the internet. No you can't watch it. No I won't share.

But there is nothing immoral about porn. People have sex, get over it.

Some people, like me, like to watch people have sex. I particularly like to watch women get eaten out, that is why I watch a lot of lesbian porn. But porn gets to fuel my imagination. If I have thought about, there is probably a porn for it. On any random day I may be in the mood for speculum porn, femdom, for incest porn, for brutal gang-bangs or prison porn. Most days I am in the mood for pegging porn. I'm a naughty bitch when it comes to what I watch.

And that's okay. 

I feel like I should also mention that I don't own a porn collection. I (literally) have the internet at my fingertips and... PornHub: there's an app for that.

Guest Post: You Can Have Your Cake & Eat It Too!

When I left for college, I was about to celebrate my 2 year anniversary with my fiance, who had just turned 21. I moved to a different state to pursue my education. He didn't come. He didn't even go get a driver's license so he could come visit me. But he wanted me to come see him as much as possible and wait in my room for him to call me after classes. 

During my second week of classes, a classmate handed me a flyer for a club meeting. I was interested and excited and that afternoon I told Fiance about the club and how I was going to go. He got really upset and accused me of cheating on him because I wanted to make friends. 

Over the next few weeks, our phone calls started to always end with him upset at me, me upset for him being upset. I started drinking occasionally, causing more fights because he was straight edge. I went home for a weekend and got a tattoo at an appointment I'd made months before. We spent the rest of the weekend arguing. I went back to school, trying to push it all out of my mind.

Within a couple of weeks, I ended up "hooking up" with another guy. I went back home to break up with Fiance in person after several more painful phone calls. He threatened to kill himself. I left anyways. I knew by that point that he'd been manipulating me for a while. I also figured out why he was constantly do jealous of my attentions. He had figured out something about me that no one else had, not even me: I wasn't straight. I love women. And I love men. But really, most of all, I love brains. I adore compassion. I crave wit. And I'm an extremely passionate person. 

Over the next few months, I spent time exploring who I was, who I wanted to be. I knew that I never wanted to feel controlled or trapped in a relationship again. For a while, I thought that meant not being in a relationship at all. I had a FWB and other people to pass the time with, but my FWB made it very clear that he would not be in a relationship with me, even though we cared for each other deeply.

After several months of discovering myself (and my first orgasms!) a friend that I'd met earlier in the school year started spending more time with me. We exchanged comic books and discovered we shared the same favorite author. I began to see him in a different light. We started hanging out at least once a week. I remember the first time we had "the talk". We were standing outside his apartment, smoking cigarettes on the balcony. He had just told me he'd never had an actual girlfriend before, and so I told him about Fiance. I leaned on the railing between sentences, took a drag, and evenly said "I could never be in a relationship with someone who told me I couldn't be with other people. I think monogamy is unnatural and wrong. It's definitely wrong for me." My heart pounding, terrified that I'd just lost this chance at a relationship, let alone our friendship. He sighed in a relieved way. "Me too. The human animal is not inherently monogamous." 

A few weeks later, we had our first date. He made me cum three times that first night.

Image Credit: Relevant Magazine & Stephan Speaks

Reader Response: Big Beautiful Women

I love talking to the you guys. You have some of the most thought provoking ideas and the conversations just blossom. They lead to questions and then you and I keep coming back to each other.

Today's question is from such a conversation that I had with a friend and reader:

I don't like the pluz-size girl fetish. If someone likes me, I don't want it do be because of my weight but because of me. What are your thoughts on being a BBW?

Well, I know that I am a big and beautiful woman and after 20-something years, I am okay with that. I am okay with my body and I am okay with its flaws. With that said, I'm also okay with the BBW fetish. At least we're out of the cushion for the pushin' phase of this fetish.

That doesn't mean that there isn't a right way and a wrong way to handle it.

WRONG: Hey, you're hott. I only fuck fat chicks, they turn me on.

RIGHT: Please, don't worry about your weight; I think you are absolutely stunning/beautiful/etc.

For the record, I have BnT fetishes. Big and Tall or Bearded and Tattooed, take your pick. 

I think that in the end, we all want to be able to say that the physical aspects of someone don't matter that it is what is on the inside that counts but it isn't always like that. Certain physical features of people turn us on or off and we have to accept that about ourselves and others.

And, come on. That picture is a BBW-half-naked-librarian. I couldn't resist.

Image credit: nlforum.net

71% of Women & I'm Not One of Them

Someone once gave me a complex about orgasms. They told me I was hard to get off.

The problem is when someone is going down on me, I kind of expect magic. I expect that I should be getting off immediately and I know that it feels good, it is erotic to look down and see someone's head buried between my legs and it really is one of my favorite things. However, even though it feels good, if the moment doesn't happen early on my mind begins to wander and I get frustrated. I get nervous that they're going to get tired or upset.

Those nerves and those frustrations of my own make orgasming orally nearly impossible at times.

But...I'm lucky...

You see, unlike 71% of women, I can orgasm from actual penetration during sex!

As long as my partner can hold on and hold out, we've got this in the vag bag.

A couple things to remember is that different women orgasm from different stimulus. It isn't all just about ass, titties, and twat. Each part our body is laced with different nerves and they all provide different sensations. That said, it is really up to your body to decide what it likes, then it is up to you to tend those needs.

Some things to keep in mind:

• Talk with your partner

Tell him/her what it is that you like. Don't be afraid to voice what you want. Use words like harder, slower, faster, up, down, or even full changes like "use your fingers". It is no strange occurrence for me to yell "Bite me" during oral sex. It is usually going to give me that extra stimulus (and also bruises).

• Don't think about it

If you start thinking about it and stressing out it won't happen. I know this for a fact. I also know that it is much easier said than done. But if you find you're mind wandering, switch it up. Change position. Go from oral to intercourse. Do something. Even taking a small break from oral can give you the piece of mind that when he continues, s/he wants to be there. And it is a little bit of the give and take to know they're getting something, too. 

• Accept how your body reacts

I've received a variety of orgasms in my experience. Oral, vaginal, anal...and something special. Our bodies are like little road maps to beautiful destinations and you should really take the scenic route. You honestly never know what you will find. The term "Hidden G Spot" is one that you may discover has quite magical properties.

Orgasms for a lot of people are not the end goal of intimacy. They are for me. Do any of you go through anything like this? Trouble getting your rocks off? Is it easier to masturbate? We won't talk about faking but I'm sure we have all been there. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

Image Credit: Eric Amaranth

Reader Response: Cuckolding

You guys never seem cease to amaze me with how awesome you really are. When I put out a question to Twitter for your ideas and what you want to see discussed in Fetish Confessions, you came. I received an excellent question and an even more flattering compliment.

Today's question comes from a Twitter lovely:

What do you think of cuckolding? From the man and woman’s perspective in a relationship?

So I have to be honest and say that you and I, my beautiful reader, learn things from each other every day. Cuckolding is not what I thought it was. And so I have thought about this and slept on it and did my due diligence in research as well. And let me tell you, that you can sign me up for this.

But with tenuous conditions.

First, for those who don't know, cuckolding is when you bring another man into a married relationship for the purpose of stirring jealousy for arousal. This is a mental/psychological fetish where the man (the cuckold) is aroused and turned on by the thought of his wife being thrilled by not only another man, but in general a more endowed man, a younger man, a man that is everything he isn't. It is usually followed up with sharing the details, the clean up, or actually observing the transgressions.

Now as someone who isn't necessarily bent on an exclusive relationship right now, this could be something that I could really get into and really share with the right partner. However, as I mentioned there are conditions.

It seems that cuckolds and hotwives chose this as a lifestyle. I don't want to be forced into seducing other men and when I set out to have sex with my significant other, I don't want to talk about other people. I just want to fuck who I am with at that moment in time. I understand the desire and the lust behind sharing the details but as in all fetishes, it is a give and take. Give me my moment, I will give you yours.

The main thing that keeps lingering in my mind is that cuckolding is not an excuse to cheat. There is a hotwife and then there is a cheater. These are very different and it ultimately comes down to the one thing that people fail most at: communication. Sorry bitches, it's true. We all just suck at talking to each other sometimes.

As a side note, I'm not generally one for mental manipulation, humiliation, etc. forms of torture but this doesn't necessarily always have to fit that mold. I'm also inclined to just say give me a threesome!

Image Credit: Askmen.com